the camera turns on again / twenty-eight thousand days…

I want to be someone my son can learn from.

I think about the person I hope he sees when he looks at me. The care I bring to my work, how I spend my time, and whether I know how to be present for him. When I try to put that into words, I find myself hesitating.

I still feel the drive to create. I care about precision, about making something well, about following an idea far enough to understand what it could become. And I worry about losing the time I used to give to those things.

They are parts of me I want my son to know, too.

I’m still trying to understand how to give all of that a place in the day. How to be the father I want to be while making room for the work and creativity that matter to me.

After two years, I’ve picked up the camera again. Recording makes me sit with a thought long enough to try to say it. Sometimes the sentence comes together. Sometimes I have to leave it unfinished.

It feels good to have a place for that again. To keep a record of this life while I’m still figuring out how to live it.

twenty-eight thousand days…
the camera turns on again

The complete first film is attached below. I’d like you to spend a few minutes with it.

We’ll keep talking.

“Wildflowers” by Scott Buckley, released under CC-BY4.0. www.scottbuckley.com.au
https://www.scottbuckley.com.au/library/wildflowers/
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music edited for excerpts, level changes, fades and synchronization.

Computer keys: Anonimski, “IBM M2 sound,” CC0.
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:IBM_M2_sound.ogg